"I Love Momma"

The sweetest words I've ever heard ...

Hunter still struggles with speech apraxia. This makes it very difficult to understand what he's saying. But, tonight a miracle came.

I was tucking him into bed and getting him nice and cuddly. As I started to walk out of the room, he said: "I love momma". It was as plain as day. I looked back at him in complete disbelief. I said, Hunter say it again. He said it again: "I love momma".

For the first time since he was born and after 10 years, I understood when he told me he loved me.

Thank you, God, for the miracles you perform! This is the best gift I've ever received.

Clingmans Dome

Four years since I’ve been on here. I lost my password and user id. I had to fish it out of some very old documents and now that I’ve tried so hard to gain my account back, I figured that I should probably write a post too.

Hunter turned 10 years old on April 1^st. It has been a wonderful and amazing 10 years. He has taught me so much about life, strength, courage, the power of believing in myself, in him, and believing in the miracles that God can perform. I would never take back the last 10 years. If you've stumbled across my blog or a new parent to a micro premiere, I can tell you that your life will never be the same. It will be full of so many wonderful opportunities and lessons to learn about the power of gratitude, courage, strength, and love beyond words. You will worry. You will cry. But, you will also have joy, happiness, many proud moments, and learn to appreciate all the small things and accomplishments throughout life. Never stop believing in your child even when the world wants you too. Make sure to take one day at a time and enjoy all the moments you're privileged to have. 

When Hunter first had his SDR surgery in 2013, I was told that he may never get out of his walker. I fired that therapist for not believing in my son. I told her that she has no business working with Hunter if she doesn't believe in him. When Hunter started to walk with canes, I was told that Hunter would never be able to walk a long distance. In fact, I was told that he would never be able to walk a grocery store. I fired that therapist for not believing in Hunter.  

In 2016, Hunter threw his canes down and took his first steps without any support. That's right, no canes, no walker - just Hunter and his two feet and legs.

In April 2017, Hunter (with the assistance of his canes) climbed to the top of the Smoky Mountains highest point called Clingmans Dome. It is a 1/2 mile, very steep trail to the top. Not only did he climb to the top of this mountain, he motivated other disabled people to make it to the top too. He got a round of applause at the top and he was huge smiles.

In 2018, Hunter can walk short distances without canes. He still needs them for long distance. But, he doesn't want anyone fussing over him. I allow him his independence. When he falls, I encourage him to get back up. He always knows that I believe in him and I'm always in his corner. 

Hunter is an avid video game junkie. He is amazing with a Nintendo or PlayStation. He is a little jokester. He loves to laugh and is goofy. He is a happy kid. 

I’m including pictures of Hunter at the top of the mountain. Pictures were taken in April 2017 

March of Dimes

It has been an eventful year. Hunter has been working hard to walk after surgery. After being told that he would never walk with canes, Hunter decided to prove them wrong. Hunter had two therapist; One therapist at the hospital, the other at his school. I wasn't fond of his hospital therapist because she always projected a lot of negativity towards Hunter. Needless to say, she is not his therapist anymore. However, his school therapist always believes in Hunter and never gives up on him. She is Heaven sent. Two days after his hospital therapist told me he would not walk with canes, his school therapist sent me this video of Hunter.

After I approached the hospital therapist with this video, she told me that Hunter "may" walk with canes, but would never be able to walk around a store. The next video, Hunter walked the entire grocery store with me for the first time.

He is doing fabulous and every day is showing improvement. He is walking around the house unassisted. He can take a good 10 steps without canes. We are getting there!



With that said...


For the first time ever, Hunter will be walking in the March for Babies. I hope you can join or donate to Team Hunter:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?pp=5301760&ct=4&w=6709356&u=reneebrindamour

Week Five Post Operation

I have both good news and bad news to share.

I'm going to start with the bad news first. The swelling in Hunter's back is not getting better. We met with the neurosurgeon yesterday. He has decided that Hunter has to have another surgery. If surgery is not done, the fluid in Hunter's back will cause his skin to deteriorate and his bones will become brittle. They are setting Hunter up for an MRI. The MRI results will determine the type of surgery needed to fix Hunter's back. I was told that it will probably be another inpatient stay that will last about a week.

The good news is that the swelling is not slowing Hunter down. This video demonstrates Hunter's biggest accomplishment this week. 

Week Four Post Operation

"Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do." 
~Orison Swett Marden  

Week Three Post Op: Learning to Walk

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV 

Welcome Home Hunter!!!

Dear Hunter,

I can't tell you how happy I am to have you home with me. It feels like it has already been such a long journey. But, our journey has only began. Your drive and determination never ceases to amaze me. Since the day you were born, you approach everything with a "watch and see what I can do" attitude. So, my sweet child here are my promises to you:

1. I'm going to promise you that this will be a long road. We have therapy 4-5 times per week for one year. Therapy sessions last a couple hours per day. But, I promise that we won't miss one session.

2. I promise you that I will wipe your tears when times get tough. But, I am going to push you and will never enable you. I do this because I know you can do it.

3. I promise to always stand beside you, support you, and fight the battles with you.

4. I promise to always cheer you on.

5. I promise to always have faith in you.

6. Most importantly, I promise to always love you!

Okay, so the big question that everyone wants to know...How is Hunter doing? He is doing great!  However, he has a lot of swelling on his back. They were contemplating another surgery to fix the swelling. But, at the last minute, they decided to discharge him and not go through with the surgery. They decided that it is more dangerous to do the surgery to repair the swelling. Now, the next question...what's causing the swelling? It could be a spinal fluid leak. It could be fluid leaking from the tissues in his back.  But, the swelling is not slowing him down, hurting him, nor is it getting worse. The neurosurgery team believes that the swelling will re-absorb into the body with time. They will follow Hunter closely for awhile.  If the swelling gets worse or slows down his rehabilitation, surgery is still an option.

Hunter has been working hard in therapy. I have talked to the therapist. I asked her to rate the severity of Hunter's cerebral palsy before and after surgery. They use a scale of 0-5. A score of 0 would be someone with normal muscle tone. A 0 score would be someone who did not have cerebral palsy. A score of 5 would be the most severe case of spastic diplegia (cerebral palsy). She said that before the surgery, Hunter was rated at a 3. After the surgery, Hunter has been rated as a 0-1. I can't tell you how excited this makes me.

As I've mentioned before, they have to train Hunter how to do everything again. In this video, Hunter stands for the first time following surgery.

Hunter's New Wheels

They warned us that this surgery would set Hunter back, but it will be the only way he can progress in the future. Hunter is attending inpatient physical and occupational therapy a couple times a day now. I am posting a video of Hunter working with his therapists. They explain the plan for now.

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I picked Hunter up for the first time since the surgery. I can't explain how good it felt to have him in my arms again. I cried happy tears. I don't want to move him around a lot. I can only imagine how sore his back must feel. He is being such a trooper and I'm seeing improvements with him every day.

As I said before, our ultimate goal, is to see Hunter walk without assistance. This won't be for awhile. He is not allowed to use his walker. They don't want him to develop the habits he had before. Instead, they want to re-train his mind to move without tone. After surgery, these movements don't come easy. Hunter has a long road ahead of him and they have to build his strength from the head down.

These setbacks can be frustrating. He doesn't understand why he can't just get out of bed and stand up. He can't understand why we won't let him position himself in old positions. I can't imagine moving a certain way my entire life. Then, all of a sudden, someone stopping my every movement and telling me that I'm doing it wrong and teaching me a new way of moving. This surgery has thrust my child back to the start, back to the days of infancy, when he couldn't sit up, stand up, or walk. Hunter wants to crawl on the floor. But, he doesn't know yet that he can't. It's hard to keep him contained. My child has always wanted to just go. But, I do my best to keep him occupied.

A present arrived for Hunter today. He was so excited. It's his new wheels. He won't need this forever. It is only temporary while they build up his core strength first and get him walking in the future. But, he was so excited. He sat in it and learned quickly how to maneuver around. He was tearing up the 12th floor of Mott's, just like I warned the nurses about.

I decorated Hunter's room with his artwork from school. One of the workers came to us and offered us an opportunity we couldn't refuse. Mott's wanted one of his artwork to hang up in the hallway. Later, it will go to a senior center to cheer up an elderly person in a nursing home. Hunter donated one of his pictures. Below is a picture with Hunter in his new wheels. He is sitting underneath his artwork framed in the hallway of the hospital.

I have been getting many messages wandering how I'm holding up. I'm holding up okay. I'm extremely tired and haven't sleep well. It's so hard to leave the hospital at night. My home is with Hunter and leaving him behind breaks my heart. It's an empty feeling that only a mother could understand. I fell asleep behind the wheel one night and hit a curb. It made me realize that I should go home earlier and get my rest. So, I've been doing that. But, I'm back up at the hospital usually before 7am and stay until after Hunter falls asleep at night. Dad stays with him all night and that makes it easier for me to leave, but it is still very hard.
                           

Up and Moving - Day Three - Post Dorsal Rhizotomy

The day started early. The neurosurgeon came in to check on Hunter and the fluid is still in his back. It concerns the doctor. But, it's not enough of a concern to do surgery yet. The plan was to get Hunter sitting up and moving more. Hunter has been on his back since Friday. The neurosurgeon still hopes that the fluid will re-absorb and is watching it closely. He wants Hunter to start physical and occupational therapy today. He also granted us access to hold him. It didn't take long for Hunter to be in our arms. When breakfast came, the smell of food motivated Hunter.. He sat up on his own and fed himself.

Hunter with Dad. There's nothing that motivated this kid like food!

It wasn’t long after breakfast that Hunter got his first visitor. She was Hunter's occupational therapist. This was an exciting time. She sat Hunter crisscross applesauce style. Hunter could never sit in this position because of the spasticity in his legs. He would cry out and fight it before. However, this time was different. The tone was gone. Hunter successfully sat crisscross applesauce comfortably. The occupational therapist was also impressed that Hunter could sit up without much support. This is rare for the first day of therapy after this surgery. It really shows how resilient Hunter is.

Physical therapy came in the afternoon. They took measurements on Hunter's range of motion. They will compare this to measurements later in therapy.  Hunter is very guarded of his incision. He is scared of the pain. Therefore, he didn't cooperate with the physical therapist. She says the pain gets better quickly and this is typical of first day therapy.

It is truly the small things you learn to appreciate when you have a special needs child. Seeing Hunter sit crisscross applesauce is the highlight of our day. It’s our first indication that the surgery was successful. This gives us hope, an overwhelming feeling of anticipation that our child might be able to do things that children without disabilities can do. It leaves us excited for Hunter’s future.

Hunter is still very sore. He still cries out when we try to move him or change his diaper. But, his incision is healing nicely.

CrissCross Applesauce. Look at how relaxed those legs are!

Day Two - Dorsal Rhizotomy Post Operation

Hunter's neurosurgeon met with us this morning to discuss Hunter's next steps. Hunter's back is still swollen and full of fluid. They aren't sure if it's spinal fluid or bleeding of some kind. The only way to know is to put Hunter back in surgery and explore. His neurosurgeon isn't in any hurry to do this. So, the plans are to keep Hunter as calm and mellow today as possible. He hopes that with rest, the fluid will re-absorb into the body, and surgery will not be needed. 

The Incision

The fluid in his back is a setback. In a normal Dorsal Rhizotomy, Hunter would be sitting up today. They would try to get him moving as soon as possible. However, since he is having this complication, the doctor ordered him to lie flat for another day. Hunter was supposed to start physical therapy tomorrow. But, this has been delayed for now.  They removed the epidural from his back and switched to oral Oxycodone and Tylenol. For the most part, Hunter seems comfortable. The only time he is not comfortable is when they try to move him. The slightest movement makes my poor little guy scream. It breaks my heart.

The neurosurgeon will evaluate the fluid tomorrow. Surgery is not ruled out yet. But, he will try everything first before putting him through that again. Hunter is usually so active. I never thought I would see my child lie on his back for an entire weekend. I thought this was impossible. In fact, when the neurosurgeon told me that Hunter couldn't move for two days, I said to him "In no way, would this happen". I was wrong.

For now, this is how Hunter spends his time.

Day One - Post Operation Dorsal Rhizotomy

Hunter started out his day with smiles. He was wide eyed, lifting his arms up for anyone to help him get out of bed. The neurosurgeon came in early. After he looked over Hunter, he said that Hunter was doing better than he could expect. His orders for the day was to keep Hunter on his back. He switched him from clear fluids back to a general diet. He said tomorrow afternoon will be the day we get him out of bed. This will be a slow process. It will start with them gradually sitting him up.

This afternoon was eventful. Hunter had special visitors into his room. The first visitor was Marty Turco. Turco began his hockey career at U of M. He spent one season with the Chicago Blackhawks, another season with the Boston Bruins, but spent most of his time with the Dallas Stars. He was a goalie. The second visitor was Jeff Backus. He started his football career at the University of Michigan. Afterwards, he was drafted into the Detroit Lions and played his entire career with them.

Marty Turco, Dallas Stars (Left), Hunter, Jeff Backus, Detroit Lions

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His Grandma, Grandpa, and other visitors came to visit. We started to notice that Hunter was getting tired. When the afternoon nurse came to check his incision, she noticed that it was swollen and the bandage was leaking fluid. She called the doctor. The resident came in. He was concerned and called Hunter’s neurosurgeon. Hunter’s neurosurgeon advised him to take off the bandages of the incision to see if something his incision was leaking. This was entirely heartbreaking and painful for Hunter. He pushed, squeezed, and pinched the area that is swollen. Hunter had a very rough time with this. They changed the bandages and are waiting the night out to see if more fluid leaks out. Hunter ate a grilled cheese sandwich. Starting at midnight, he will not be allowed any more food until the Neurosurgeon sees him tomorrow. This is precautionary, in case in has to go into surgery tomorrow. The doctor doubts he will need the surgery. But, it will depend on what the bandages look like in the morning. If surgery is done, they will be checking for internal bleeding. Hunter is resting peacefully right now.