Lessons Learned - Fashion Show Speech

After trying unsuccessfully for two years; my husband and I had given up trying to add to our family. Thankfully God brought my two wonderful step boys into my life when I married my husband. Then I heard those two wonderful words “You’re pregnant” and it was the happiest day of my life. You can’t begin to imagine how lucky I felt. I was on top of the world.

My pregnancy was going perfect with no health issues. Then, in my 21st week of pregnancy, my life changed forever. I started to go into pre-term labor without cause and was ordered to be on strict bed rest. I was told that my baby would not be viable until borderline 23/24 weeks. I had weeks to go before my baby carried a good chance. My dream of having a healthy child was crashing down around me.

My labor started to progress and I was admitted into the hospital at the end of my 22nd week of pregnancy. Dr. Ivacko, a neonatologist, came down to speak to us about having a micro preemie. She referred to it as a long and bumpy road. She went over everything with us. She told us the statistics about babies born at 23/24 weeks compared to later in a pregnancy. She told us what the chances of complications, disabilities, and the facts were terrifying. Looking back, as scary as it sounded, it still held no candle to actually going through it. That day, I could have never imagined how much respect I would have for her today.

My labor progressed to a point that it could not be stopped. On April 1, 2008, Hunter Myles McKeen was born by emergency c-section, at 24 weeks 5 days gestation. Hunter was 1 pound 12 ounces and 12 inches long. Dr. Weiner was the neonatologist on duty that day. He had his hands full, but he got Hunter through his first hours. I will always hold a special place in my heart for Dr. Weiner.

I was in a fog for the first couple weeks. Hunter was in the NICU for 119 days. The odds were against him. His stay was complicated and involved multiple surgeries, and very serious medical complications. He spent the first 2 ½ months of his life on a ventilator and oscillator. Hunter was sent home with an apnea monitor, oxygen, and a feeding tube.

I won’t ever forget where Hunter came from. I won’t forget holding him for the first time. I will not forget how his tiny body fit in the palm of my hand. I won’t forget how much went in to holding Hunter - how the nurses and respiratory therapist worked around many wires and tubes. And, how they had to make sure the baby stayed warm because he was too tiny to maintain body temperature. Initially, I could only hold him for 10 minutes. But, those 10 minutes, 10 days after giving birth to him, was something I’ll never forget. It was at this point I realized how much St. Joseph Mercy Hospital did for my family. They gave us our dream of having a child together.

Hunter is 19 months old now. I wish he was old enough to really understand how proud of him I am. He has such a strong drive. Every day, it is a struggle, a fight, and our journey has truly just begun. It is a struggle to get him to eat, to crawl, and to keep from getting sick. Hunter has an arsenal of medical supplies in his room. He has home oxygen, pulse oxygen monitor, a nebuilzer, nasal cannulas, and feeding supplies. We must stay on top of his medical needs.

Most importantly, we love him. He is so loveable. He is so happy. He amazes me with the way he is unaffected by all that he has gone through. Hunter can light up a room. He is truly an inspiration.

I will not forget the NICU, the sound of the monitors beeping, the smell, and the music that they play while you’re on hold waiting to talk to the nurse. The hardest thing I did was leave Hunter at the end of a day. I cried every night I walked out. I was so scared that Hunter would need me and I wouldn’t be there. I never knew if kissing him was going to be his last kiss.

Most importantly, I will never forget the lessons I learned in the NICU. Hunter had a brilliant respiratory therapist named Sharon. She taught me that in every negative situation, I can always find positives. At that time, my son was very sick and I could never understand what she was talking about. All day, her words echoed in my head. And, I tried to make sense of what was positive in this situation. Later that night – I thought about it and she was right. I knew that I had to start looking for my positives. I started with the easiest one: My son was still alive. I found many positives that night, including knowing her. I don’t know if she knows it, but that simple statement made a huge impact on me and the hardest time of my life. I still have my hard days and her advice still helps me to get through. I learned how to put my faith and trust in God. Miracle after Miracle, God got us through it.

Through this journey I have been fortunate and blessed to have met some of the finest people I will ever meet in my life, the NICU staff. They taught to embrace the little things in life, never take one minute or one breathe for granted. I learned that I have used a million different reasons to have a bad day, but never found one million reasons for a good day. At the end of the day when my kids are tucked into bed, and me and my husband can hear them peacefully sleeping, – it doesn’t matter that I was late for work, I got a flat tire, had bad hair day; I have my family safely under one roof, and that is what I have to be thankful for. In the end, I have my son, my family, my friends, my marriage and relationship with God is stronger; I’m truly the luckiest woman alive.

Thank you for coming tonight and supporting the St. Joseph Mercy Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and the Family Advisory Board.