Saturday, April 12, 2008

I come bearing some pretty hard news. I woke up this morning to a call from the neonatologist and two surgeons. Hunter was gradually worsening throughout last night. They had to take him off the CPAP and back on a respirator. Upon examination, they had diagnosed him with a condition that can happen in premature infants called necrotizing enterocololits (NEC). For those that would like to read up on it, it can be goggled. I knew something was extremely serious when they needed my consent for emergency surgery. I also knew that this was serious the minute the neonatologist said "I know you are on driving restrictions, but it is important that you are here. It might be a good idea to get in your car and take it easy to get here". Statistical information was given to me over the phone on his chances of survival. If he didn't have the surgery, he would not make it. If he did have the surgery, his chances were 50/50 and things would be touch and go for weeks; the first 48-72 hours being the most critical. I gave consent as any parent would do, called Tim out of work, and have been at the hospital by his bedside since this morning. Despite what everyone is telling me about me healing from my surgery and resting, I have no intention to leave anytime soon.

As you can imagine, I'll be honest - I am an emotional mess. My eyes hurt from crying. I'm emotionally drained. I feel like someone has just hit me with a baseball bat right upside my head and stabbed me through the heart. Last night, all was well. We were able to do Kangaroo care with him and he was out of his incubator for two hours lying on our chest. He was doing so well. He was off the respirator, and tolerating the CPAP. What happened?

Friends - Hunter is my world. I love him more than I could ever put into words. I know that everyone has been so supportive and have been praying. Please continue to pray for him.