Monday, March 24, 2008

We met with one of the neonatologist a little bit ago.

The facts are scary. So, I am just going to be as forward as possible. If Hunter is born now, he would only have a 20-30% chance of survival and a big possibility of long term disability. At 24 weeks, the chances go up to 50% survival with a 50% chance of disability. Between now and the end of 24 weeks, they will only resuscitate if we decide to give him a chance. Let me just say that I do not believe in not giving him a chance. I could never live with myself. We, Tim and me, are in agreement. Our agreement is, f Hunter is born between now and the end of 24 weeks, they will resuscitate him, and we will have to go from there. If things are not going well, the doctor's would be up front with us. We could choose to terminate support on a case basis. But, I can not live my life without giving my little man a chance.

After 25 weeks, they have to resuscitate by all laws. It is generally not an option to parents. Every week and every day after 25 weeks, the baby has a better chance. If I can get this pregnancy to 30 weeks, Hunter's chances of complications and any long term effects are pretty much voided. There is still a possibility, but the chances go down a lot. He would still need to be in NICU for a while. But, the doctors breathe real easy at 30 weeks.

The doctor's did stress that everyday, Hunter's chances get better. They corrected my goals to not get to 27 weeks or 29 weeks, but get to tomorrow.

Oh, by the way, I am still on the smooth muscle relaxer so bare with my typing, grammar, misspelled words, etc. I know my emails have had a lot of that lately.

As I say in all my emails, pray my body has the strength to hold baby Hunter where he needs to be and pray for the little man. Your support is so appreciated by us.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Back in St. Joe's again at the Family Birth Center. Room # LDR15, Phone Number 734/712-8315. P.S. I was admitted and will be here for at least 48 hours if not longer.

I am getting to know the nurses really well. As sweet as they have all been, I am really sick of seeing this place. I would never expect that I would have a relationship with the nurses and doctors at the St. Joe’s Birthing Center.

We'll here's the story...I was feeling a little weird over this last past weekend. I was having some of the symptoms that I originally had before they admitted me the first time. I would call it intuition. I told Tim that I had to give my doctor a call. I called the on call doctor and explained to them what was going on. They told me that they wanted to see me in the hospital ASAP. So, here I am. I had another ultrasound. Things appear to be getting worse and not better.

They also did a level II ultrasound to see how big Hunter was. I am at 23 weeks 4 days pregnant. The baby weighs 1 pound 4 ounces. He is at the borderline age of viability and has such a personality. Hunter MUST take after me, haha. He is waving, opening and closing his hands right in front of the monitor, kicks and plays with all the stuff they put on my belly. He does not like those gadgets. It is so cute. I was asking questions during the ultrasound. Hunter would nod his head as if making a yes or no. It was coincidence, but so cute. He is healthy and not affected by any of this. Mom is going through it all. But, it is how I would prefer it. I wish I could take away any difficulty he had in the future and put it on me.

They have started the steroid treatments. I guess they thought I didn't have big enough muscles. It is time to build them up so I can beat up Tim...ha - just joking. The steroid treatments speed up lung development in Baby Hunter. It also decreases the odds of complications in a preemie. They weren't going to start it until 24 weeks. But, they decided it was best to do it now. They are also giving me a medication-gosh, I can't remember the name. It is a smooth muscle relaxer. It has me a little loopy right now. This is to prevent any further contractions that would make me dilate. I guess this smooth muscle relaxer is why I am being so nonchalant in this email. Don't get me wrong. Emotionally, I am mess. I don't think I have ever been through anything harder in my life. All of these medications do not hurt the baby in any shape or form. Trust me. This was one of the first questions that I asked.

We meet with the neonatologist tomorrow. They think that it is a good idea to discuss what is in store for Baby Hunter. We will probably be making some big decisions shortly that will affect Hunter's life. I am scared. I have never been more scared. I will know more tomorrow. I won't make assumptions, but will send out another email when I know facts.

For now, I appreciate all the prayers, thoughts, and support that all my friends and family have given me and Baby Hunter. It means more than you'll ever know.

Please continue to pray for Baby Hunter. One thing is for certain; his life is in God's Hands.

Monday, March 10, 2008

The doctor met with us today and I wish I could come with some good news, but right now I can't. Hunter's future really lies in the hands of God.

His chance of making it to viability is 50%. For him to make it to viability, I can not go into labor until March 27th (24 weeks). If I make it to viability, Hunter's future will still lie in the hands of God. There are many things that could still go wrong. At 24 weeks, he would in no way be out of danger. I am probably being discharged today or tomorrow. There is no sense in keeping me here. I will remain on strict bed rest at home until I deliver. For now, the doctor's have done what they can do to stop contractions, the dilation, and labor.

The good new is that after the ultrasound today, it has not progressed anymore from Friday’s ultrasound. Life has been emotionally draining. I am completely drained. I am trying to remain positive for both Hunter and myself.

Please pray, pray, pray for the little man, and the wisdom of the doctor's treating us.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

I went to the doctor yesterday. At the doctor's, they sent me directly over to St. Joe's. Once I got to St. Joe's, I learned that one of my worst fears became a reality. My cervix has started to open. They call it funneling. If the baby is born now, he will not survive. Lung Development starts at 24 weeks. That is my first milestone. The ultimate goal is to make it to 28-29 weeks. Steroids will be given to me at 24 weeks to speed up lung development and Hunter’s chances of survival.

If, and its a big if, I can make it to 28-29 weeks, the baby will still have to be in NICU for approximately 10 weeks. The baby will have to be hooked to feeding monitors and closely watched. But, babies can live a healthy life being born at this time. If the baby is born anytime before 28-29 weeks, his chances of survival decreases and the longevity of his hospital stay increases.

I am on complete bed rest until the baby comes. It could be tomorrow, it could be in 8-9 weeks...we don't know. The odds of carrying this baby until full term are pretty non existent. I am in the hospital until next week sometime. Hopefully, I will be able to go home on Monday.

Please pray for baby Hunter!