The PDA Litigation Surgery

They have chairs that you can sit in in the NICU. The NICU has recliners and pretty comfortable. After the surgery, they had the neonatalogist, a pediatrician, a nurse, and a respiratory therapist at his bedside. They were trying to put an arterial line in Hunter. This is a tube that goes directly into an artery, not a vein like an IV. It gives constant blood pressure readings, and accurate blood gases (the level of exchange between the oxygen and carbon dioxide in your blood) I am scared of needles, so I had to sit down. I looked at the entire picture. Hunter - back on a respirator, people surrounding his bedside, and trying to control his vitals. They were all working together to get Hunter to a stable place. It occured it me. It is a picture in my nightmares. Or, like Deja Vu. It was exactly what I see when I close my eyes at night. It is the same picture that has traumatized me from his earlier days. It was like the beginning all over again. But, were not in the beginning. We are 101 days into it and my emotions are completely pooped out. He was supposed to be going home, not back in surgery again! So, for right now, things seem so impossible or far out.

On the flipside, it was exactly what Hunter needed to keep progressing. Thankfully, they found out what the problem is. Hopefully after this downfall, this hurdle, we can move forward. Hopefully, this will make feeding and breathing easier for him.
Hunter went into surgery at 7:30 AM. Hunter came out of surgery at 10:00 AM. They have been right all along. The preparation took a long time. The surgery took longer than we expected, but the surgery went well. We got into the NICU at 5:00 AM. The preparation had already started. The transporter was warming up. Hunter had wires coming from everywhere. He was being hooked to the vent and slowly falling asleep because of the medication they gave him. Before he fell asleep, I got to give him a kiss. I found a spot on his face despite all the wires and tubes. He looked up at me. It could of been my own emotions talking. But, if I could explain his look - he looked confused or scared. I reassured him that I was here, not to be scared, that I love him and would not leave until I knew he was okay. He feel asleep shortly after and has been sleeping all day.

The experts said its not the surgery that we had to worry about. It's the aftermath.
So, here we are in the aftermath. Hunter is having a hard time with his blood pressure. They warned us that this is what they would worry about after surgery and here we are. He has an awful color and to be honest, I'm scared. The medication they give him to control his blood pressure raises his heart rate. Now, they are trying to get to a stable ground - stable heart rate, higher blood pressure. We are in the heart of the storm right now.

As I have already learned, I turn my faith to God. I pray. I fight alongside the bed with Hunter. He is more courageous than I could ever dream of being. He is my hero. I thank God for every second, minute, day, that I have with him.
Thank you for your support and prayers. Thank you for all that has been there for us, helped us, called us, prayed for us, and thought about us. We are in the heart of a storm right now. My motto is: Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell the storm how big your God is