Saturday, July 5, 2008

I wanted to take this opportunity to write a special journal entry. You know how the saying goes; you don't know what you've got till it’s gone. Or, is that a song from the 80's?

We'll regardless; I met a really nice couple in the NICU. Over the course of a couple months, we became friends and a great support to one another. Her son was born at 26 weeks gestation. We were each other's cheerleaders, rooting for each other’s families and micro preemies to make it through another day. I went to visit Hunter. When I walked past the bed of where her baby was, he was gone. The bed was empty, the monitors were off. Where did her baby go? My heart immediately sank. I knew he was having stomach issues, but I didn't realize the severity to it. The hospital could not tell me anything because of the HIPAA laws. So, as humans, we fear the worse.

I cried all the way home from the hospital and cried myself to sleep that night. This time it wasn't for Hunter, but for Troy; a baby that means so much to me and for this family, who have had such an impact on me and a part of my heart. It wasn't until today, that I heard he was transferred to another hospital. I breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't the worst case that I initially imagined. But, gosh....it’s not good. It's a huge set back to a baby that was doing fantastic. It is a huge set back to a family that has high hopes. I can't begin to imagine what they are feeling, but I can say that I understand. This road is a long one filled with a bunch of unknowns. I never knew the true meaning of uncertainty until now.
It's another one of life's lessons that I have learned. It is taking one day at a time. At the end of the day, when you have the people in your life that means the world to you, you can consider it a good day.

I left a message for Troy's mom today. I tried really hard not to cry, but I couldn't help myself. I love this family. When I visit my son at St. Joes, I miss not knowing that they won't be at St. Joe's. As I resort to the beginning of this journal entry, I took for granted that Joy, Dave, Ronnie and Troy would be there every day that I went to see my son. I took for granted that I would always be able to exchange our kind words of support to one another. She doesn't know, but there were many days that she pulled me through. She helped me with a simple hug or with words of encouragement and I miss her.

I am saying an extra prayer tonight for Troy. I am still Troy's cheerleader. I am still rooting for him. I am still rooting for his family. For Dave and Joy, they’re special people in this world sent straight from Heaven. Angels! I will be praying for you. I can't wait to see you guys again.